Whenever an old life crashes,

It finds it’s way home

A stranger told me this

In every reclusiveness

I am a living stone

Shapeshifting through bodies

Breathing into everything, without a heart

Some days I wonder it all, but say nothing

And nothing says everything in my ears

Alone in my weariness, brimming into sunlight

Dressing into everything that cloth me human

I become as small as a city I knew

Still sleeping in time and never waking up again

A universe resting on a water lily, unknown

When the heart stops, it finds it’s way home

Some stranger taught me this when I teared,

So I held this in an envelope under my pillow

With every breath I remember here is not home

Home for me will be where my heart fills alive

Less burden, not my family waiting on me to eat

Siblings thinking I am a huge mountain to rest on

I am alone in my nothing

Seconds ago I tried to take my soul home

But failed, this sunflower is still needed here

But whenever I close my eyes

My childhood runs out to it’s playground

A memory scared with uncertainty, and “it” all

Nothing of happiness to call my own

The trees drop their leaves and I pick them up

But unable to pick myself when I crash and fall

In a cold world that sees nothing but self’ shoes


Now, whenever a boy asks me who I love

My heart becomes a fist, with no reason

Ready to journey to the old town waysides

Whispers fill my head and doubts breathe again

I can’t live here, not when my heart knows the way home

I love someone but lost my appetite on life

And if this skin were human, it wouldn’t live long

She will whisper herself through wounds

Of all blurred and straight and zig zagged lines

I found me in the middle of it all

Dancing to my own solitude

And maybe like Selena Gomez

“I need to loose you to love me” life

Maybe my heart is a fist, or even a bomb

Waiting to explode or may I say explore “there”

To be kissed by a lover and watch it all happen

Here a new world will be born

A world where I can be enough and alive