Whenever an old life crashes,
It finds it’s way home
A stranger told me this
…
In every reclusiveness
I am a living stone
Shapeshifting through bodies
Breathing into everything, without a heart
Some days I wonder it all, but say nothing
And nothing says everything in my ears
Alone in my weariness, brimming into sunlight
Dressing into everything that cloth me human
I become as small as a city I knew
Still sleeping in time and never waking up again
A universe resting on a water lily, unknown
When the heart stops, it finds it’s way home
Some stranger taught me this when I teared,
So I held this in an envelope under my pillow
With every breath I remember here is not home
Home for me will be where my heart fills alive
Less burden, not my family waiting on me to eat
Siblings thinking I am a huge mountain to rest on
I am alone in my nothing
Seconds ago I tried to take my soul home
But failed, this sunflower is still needed here
But whenever I close my eyes
My childhood runs out to it’s playground
A memory scared with uncertainty, and “it” all
Nothing of happiness to call my own
…
The trees drop their leaves and I pick them up
But unable to pick myself when I crash and fall
In a cold world that sees nothing but self’ shoes
….
Now, whenever a boy asks me who I love
My heart becomes a fist, with no reason
Ready to journey to the old town waysides
Whispers fill my head and doubts breathe again
I can’t live here, not when my heart knows the way home
I love someone but lost my appetite on life
And if this skin were human, it wouldn’t live long
She will whisper herself through wounds
…
Of all blurred and straight and zig zagged lines
I found me in the middle of it all
Dancing to my own solitude
And maybe like Selena Gomez
“I need to loose you to love me” life
Maybe my heart is a fist, or even a bomb
Waiting to explode or may I say explore “there”
To be kissed by a lover and watch it all happen
Here a new world will be born
A world where I can be enough and alive
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