I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, too occupied with you

That I leave myself stranded at the bus stop 

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, shoved my finger

In your heart’s soup to taste where your love is

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the friends of today

And the ones before them who took all of me

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the wine bringers, and 

The empty hands sitting at my dinner table 

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the pre-breakfast rants

That’ll end up being one giant laugh tomorrow

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the bullies from the past

And how I nearly became them to the one I love 

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, all the kindness I offered 

And how it never returned, taken all for granted

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the ex’s remorse

And how his ugly past tainted my yesterday 

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, cleaning the elephant

Forgetting the peace of wild things

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the ones who beg for 

My money, only to use it to boost their status 

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the fights I walked out of 

And how I couldn’t sleep thinking about them 

 

I am feeling everything and everyone 

All at the same time, the truth of my lies

Forged to dictate my heart into loving pain

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, my father shrinking

When the cable man threw dirt on his kindness

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the words of the holy books

And how the assembly of today interprets them

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the ones who sit on my

Silences and crowd it with their judgments

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, how I raised myself

Without the hands of my parents to fall on

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the ones I feed, who

Extend their gratitude by letting me starve

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the old jokes that leave

Stains on the new fabrics I have woven today

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the ones whose sofas I slept on

While I figure out where my life is headed

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the death I escaped 

And how gutted it left me feeling, till date 

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the boy I used to be, and

How I killed him because I couldn’t love him

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the home I’ll return to

In a country and a language, I’m yet to meet

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the fish in my tank 

And all the beauty it repaired my heart with 

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the boy on the train

And how he rose to let the old man seat

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the music of Cleo Sol

And how it hugs my heart as if it were my shrine

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the visitors who came

And leave wet towels lying on my neat bed

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the fright in my heart

And how I couldn’t find the words to tell it 

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the clothes in my closet 

And how they hold the memories of you and I 

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the poets who chose silence

While the women and children die in the Congo and Gaza

May their breakfast taste like ash in their mouths 

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the fear in my throat

And how I spit it in the faces of others as they eat 

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the stranger at the park

And how his smiles renovated my loneliness

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the boy I could’ve been

If I wasn’t a consequence of all that went wrong

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, who God is

And how people bleed their hurt on others

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the reason I’m still alive

And all that I will become before the cross-line 

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, everything I shouldn’t 

Calling it a truce, a warm bed to sleep on

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, the crowd I’m surrounded by

And how lonely they make me feel

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, my father and his love

And how he crossed the bar so soon

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, all the things

That my therapist says I should let go of

 

I am feeling everything and everyone

All at the same time, and as the last leave falls

So shall my life. At least I can say, that I’ve lived

But is that enough, for me?