I sit in myself

I sit within myself

I sit to witness myself

 

You come with your hiatus

You sit within it, stretch it out

You heighten it, I mean your “ego”

 

I’ve cleaned my house before you

I will clean my house after you

Only because I am clean.

 

I will sit where your eyes wouldn’t reach

I’ll embrace my toes and swallow my tongue

I’ll nibble on your death, the one you gave me

I’ll empty my body just so I can breathe you in

 

Ah! it’s always quiet in this deep

Until a voice comes to break it

But this voice, it comes from neither of us

 

The sins we try to drown with your hands

The toys we tore out of guilt

They stare at us now 

As we lick our wounds

 

We must not point out we’ve been bypassed

By the time, by this endless immoderation

I still wear your name on my tongue

I still write letters to our old address

Where the hills have eyes

And the stagnant waters run deep

Hoping you’ll be found there, breathing

 

And I tell myself

The moon is only but a cocktail tonight

I will drink it, with you, with our mouths

But none of us will shout cheers I know

 

I am not afraid of the fallen

At least not here, not tonight

Not with this sea of silence between our lips

Not even, with your backbone facing mine

You’ll throw me a rope before I hit earth

You’ll look into my eyes like I’m painted,

By the hands of your heart

 

But for you tonight, what must I wear

A smile on my nakedness?

You like it when I smile

So, I’ll wear my best smile tonight 

For all that we could have had

For all that we could have been

For all that wasn’t written, to be our fate.